


Missing you, hurts so much

by Lerya



Series: Challenges (outside of discord) [15]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Mourning, Temporary Amnesia, and it's concequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28986453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lerya/pseuds/Lerya
Summary: A character study of what would have gone through the minds of Ace, Luffy and Sabo, just after Marineford.With one dead, one terrible injured and one only just remembering what he's lost, all the while two of them think their two brothers are dead.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace & Sabo
Series: Challenges (outside of discord) [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970032
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18
Collections: One Piece Bingo 2020/2021





	Missing you, hurts so much

**Author's Note:**

> I want to apologize, seeing as I hurt myself by writing this. But the prompt for the OP bingo was 'hurt, no comfort', so I did what I could.

Luffy couldn’t even feel the hurt in his body, he knew it hurt, could see the bandages wrapped around just about every inch of him. But he couldn’t feel that compared to the pain he felt in his heart, the pain he felt at knowing that of the three brothers, he was the only one left.

He had already yelled, and hit a few trees, in the hope of getting the pain to fade, to break this dream he was in, that made him believe that Ace was really dead, died because someone had told the Marines the name of his dad, which made them want to kill him.

When the pain didn’t stop, and the hurt of his heart reminded him about the last memories he had from being in Marineford, he couldn’t help but despair as reality kicked in, and reminded him that this was real, and he had lost his other big brother.

Tears began making his way over his cheeks as he remembered his big brother, his only remaining big brother, stepping in front of a blow meant for him, choosing to give up his own life so his, Luffy’s could be spared and he would be able to get to the end of the Grand Line.

Although that dream was far away now, he didn’t have any of his Nakama and had no idea where they were to begin with.

Adding to that, he didn’t know what to think, or even what to feel, except the numbing pain of loss.

After everything he had done, that Cresent-Stache and his crew had done, nothing had prepared any of them to the notion that it had all been for nothing, that Ace, even if he wasn’t executed on the platform, had still been killed by a Marine, for being alive.

Looking down at his hands, Luffy could stell feel Ace’s blood on them where he caught his older brother after Akainu pulled back his fist, out of Ace’s body, to just let it fall down. But Luffy had caught him and listened to Ace’s last words.

Which the older man used to thank him, and his crew for loving him.

Luffy pressed a hand over his heart, feeling it constricting and pulsing with the hurt of knowing that he would never, ever, hear Ace’s warm voice again, or hug his warmer than normal brother, or even get tapped on the head because he did something stupid or ate all the meat again.

He would never see Ace come by on his little one man boat, or by able to introduce him to the other members of his crew, he wouldn’t be able to cuddle up to the older man on a cold winter night or share sake with him as a reformation of their brotherhood.

Luffy started sobbing even more, knowing that all the memories he now held of Ace, would be the last he ever had, there would be no new ones made, nor would he be able to remember all of them clearly as time spun further.

With a yell, he shook his head as he started crying harder, he didn’t want to forget Ace, the way he looked, smelled, and felt like, not in the way that he already forgot most of what Sabo looked, smelled, and felt like – he couldn’t handle knowing that in time it would mean that he would have trouble remembering how everything was when either of his brothers were still alive – he didn’t want that.

He refused to let that happen, but he knew that nothing could stop that – with him not being able to see Ace anymore, he knew that those memories would slowly fade, and he’d forget all that makes his big brothers, his big brothers.

Laying there on the ground where he had run and fallen down after getting out of the boat he had been on, running, or trying to run away from the hurt he had been feeling – the hurt from knowing that he wouldn’t be seeing either of his older brothers ever again.

On the other side of the veil, another dark haired man could only watch and grieve together with his little brother, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to ever again comfort him in this, and future times of need.

The Dead couldn’t interact with the living after all, they could only watch over them from beyond the veil, and in some part, this hurt even more – to see, but not be able to do anything as his baby brother came to terms with what had happened.

Seeing Luffy scream, cry and break down brought a hurt back to Ace’s own chest, one he had last felt when Sabo had died, or when they thought he had died. Their blond brother hadn’t been here when he woke up in the afterlife – so something else must have happened there, as he didn’t doubt for a moment that if his other brother had been dead, he would be here waiting for him, hurting just as much at the knowledge of Luffy’s pain.

Shaking his head, Ace couldn’t help but focus back on Luffy, on the pain he could see written in those brown eyes and on the child-like face, knowing that in part he was the cause of that pain, because he had been stupid enough to not keep running when the Marine Admiral baited him.

He had stupidly believed that defending the honour of the man who had become his Oyaji, would have helped them in any way.

Instead, it had hurt him so much, in more ways than one, to know that in the end, his stubborn way of not running from a confrontation he had forfeit his life, as Akainu used his distraction to go after Luffy, giving him no choice but to either watch his brother die, or jump in front of the blow and take it on himself.

He could still feel his too heavy body resting against Luffy’s, while his baby brother held him up as life left him. As both of them realized that Ace was breaking his promise to his younger brother.

It hurt so very much, knowing that he would be leaving Luffy all alone, especially as he didn’t know where his brother’s Nakama was, nor did he know where Sabo was and if their blond brother could, and wanted, to take care of Luffy now that he, as the oldest, wasn’t there anymore.

Shaking his head, Ace hid his head in his hands, feeling the tears streaming down them as he kept thinking about all the things he would miss now that he wasn’t there anymore – he wouldn’t be able to help Luffy out in a pinch, wouldn’t be able to introduce Luffy to his own Nakama, properly, he wouldn’t even be there when his baby brother made it to Laugh Tale and became pirate king.

He would miss all those milestones, all because in the end, he was too stubborn to just keep running on the battlefield and let a Marine Admiral bait him into getting distracted. He felt awful, not just because of Luffy (even if it mostly was because of Luffy), but also because Oyaji was here too, as were a handful of other Nakama. He was grateful they loved him enough to come for him, but hated himself, once more, for being the cause of so much pain among his loved ones.

Pulling down his hands, he looked at Luffy again, his lips pressed together as he noticed his brother having cried himself to sleep. Some part of hime hoped Sabo would be there soon but seeing as the blond had let them believe he had died 10 years prior; he wasn’t willing to put a lot of hope on that.

On Baltigo, a blond had taken one look at a newspaper, before feeling a horrible headache setting in.

He knew that face, he knew both the faces of the pirates in the newspaper. One having been killed, and the other, according to sources heavily injured – most likely dead too, but he couldn’t place their faces. Why couldn’t he place their faces.

Blinking once, it was like a dam breaking, his old memories, the ones he had forgotten flooding his mind, and with it so did the identity of the two men in the newspaper – his brothers, who for all accounts were dead.

He had forgotten about his big brother, and their baby brother, had forgotten them for 10 years, only to remember them too late, they were both dead and he would never, ever be able to atone for not being there when they needed him the most.

He was the worst, he had forgotten them and nothing in his mind had clicked at seeing their previous bounty posters, only the news of their dead, or near mortal wound, was enough to shake him out of it – was enough to make him remember, and what kind of brother did that make him, when he could only remember after they died – a horrible one, the absolute worst one.

Gripping his hands in his hair, he yanked at it, before a scream left his throat, as he collapsed to be able to process all the memories he just got back – the notion of him being the worst brother in existence stayed at the forefront.


End file.
